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Combatting the Loneliness and Isolation of Special Needs Parenting


 

Parenting a child with special needs can be a rewarding experience, but it can also be an isolating and lonely one. As a special needs parent, you may feel like no one truly understands what you are going through, and it can be easy to become overwhelmed and burnt out. However, it's important to remember that you are not alone, and that there is help available to you. In this blog post, we'll discuss the importance of asking for help when you need it and some strategies for combating the loneliness and isolation that can come with special needs parenting.


The Importance of Asking for Help


One of the biggest challenges of special needs parenting is feeling like you have to do it all on your own. However, this can quickly lead to burnout and isolation. It's important to remember that it's okay to ask for help, and in fact, it's essential for your mental health and well-being.


Asking for help doesn't mean that you are weak or incapable. It simply means that you recognize your limitations and understand that you can't do everything on your own. Ideally each of us has a supportive spouse, family that is nearby and willing to help or a group of friends that can jump in and offer support, but if that's not the case or it's simply not enough, there are a variety of resources available to help special needs parents, from support groups and counseling to respite care and home health services.



Strategies for Combating Loneliness and Isolation


Even when you have help available to you, the reality of raising a child with special needs still brings unique challenges and can often completely alter the life you used to know. Often times families are limited in the leisure activities they can pursue due to the child's condition/limitations. Things you used to enjoy such as weekend hikes or days exploring a favorite amusement park or beach are now not so easy to enjoy. Whether or not the destination has ADA accessibility becomes a primary concern. Large crowds or loud spaces might become a major issue. In many cases, families choose to just stay home where their child is safe and the day to day is more manageable. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. You may go through a period of mourning for the life you used to know, and perhaps even take for granted. You might find yourself feeling envious of families who can just get up and go without a care in the world. You might find yourself feeling guilty about having those feelings in the first place. Navigating all of these emotions can be a complicated and slippery slope. Though these feelings are certainly natural, knowing how to combat them when they become overwhelming is critical. In addition to asking for help when you need it, there are several other strategies you can use to combat the loneliness and isolation that can come with special needs parenting.



Here are a few ideas to consider:


1. Join a Support Group

Joining a support group can be a great way to connect with other special needs parents who are going through similar experiences. You can share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with people who truly understand what you are going through. You may also be able to learn from others' experiences and gain new insights into how to navigate the challenges of special needs parenting. A quick google search or chat with your child's doctor can point you in the right direction. Some groups meet virtually and other in-person. By doing a little research you can find a group that truly understands you and can offer the support and community you so desperately need.


2. Seek Counseling or Coaching

Counseling or Coaching can also be a valuable resource for special needs parents. A therapist or Special Needs Parent Coach can provide a safe space for you to discuss your feelings, process your experiences, and develop coping strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety. Deciding upon whether to pursue counseling with a licensed therapist or parent coaching with an experienced parent who's been where you are is a personal choice. Therapy and Special Needs Parent Coaching are two different approaches that can provide support in different ways. Therapy is a form of treatment that typically involves working with a licensed therapist to explore underlying emotional, psychological, or behavioral issues that are impacting a person's mental health. Special Needs Parent Coaching, on the other hand, is a form of support that focuses on helping parents of children with special needs navigate the challenges and stressors associated with their child's condition. Coaching and therapy can both be valuable resources for parents of children with special needs, and the choice of which to pursue will depend on each individual's needs and goals.


3. Take Time for Yourself

It's important to prioritize self-care as a special needs parent. This means taking time for yourself to recharge and relax. Whether it's going for a walk, taking a yoga class, or indulging in a hobby, finding ways to take care of yourself can help you feel more balanced, grounded and connected with yourself. There are certainly situations where a child's needs are so all-encompassing that time for oneself seems a laughable concept. While this is very real, so is the fact that you cannot pour from an empty cup. There is a reason why flight attendants always remind us to put our own oxygen masks on first. If we don't, we'll run out of air while scrambling around trying to meet the needs of all of those around us. Do yourself a favor and get creative. Even if it means locking yourself in the bathroom for a five minute guided meditation on a favorite app or waking up thirty minutes before everyone else to read a few pages from a good book, find something that fills you up and gives you the strength to power through another day.


4. Connect with Other Parents

Connecting with other parents can also be a helpful way to combat loneliness and isolation. This can include reaching out to other parents at your child's school, joining a local parent group, or connecting with other parents through online forums or social media. Ask your child's teacher or related services providers for leads on parent groups in your area. They can be a wealth of information and a great catalyst for connecting you with other local parents who deal with similar challenges. You can even look into getting involved with local organizations like The Miracle League or The Special Olympics to meet other parents of children with special needs in your area.


5. Ask for Help

Finally, because it's worth repeating, remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Whether it's asking a family member or friend to watch your child for a few hours so you can have some time to yourself, applying for respite programs through your state's Department of Health and Human Services or hiring a home health aide to assist with daily tasks, there are resources available to help you manage the challenges of special needs parenting. It may take a little leg work, but help is out there. Check to see if there are any Case Management Agencies in your area that specialize in assisting families with obtaining Medicaid or other related services. In the state of North Carolina, for example, there is a program called the Community Alternatives Program for Children (CAP/C) which is a state-run program that provides home and community-based services to children at risk for institutionalization in a nursing home. There are local agencies whose mission is to help qualifying families get connected with these services. If you reside in the state of North Carolina, we highly recommend reaching out to the people at Holland Management to see if they can help you acquire needed services.


In conclusion, special needs parenting can be a challenging and isolating experience, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. Asking for help when you need it and utilizing resources like support groups, counseling/coaching, and respite care can help you manage the stress and isolation that can come with this role. By prioritizing self-care and connecting with others, you can develop a strong support network and even find ways to thrive as a special needs parent and become a better, more empowered version of yourself than you would have been otherwise.

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